I'm just not seeing it. Exercise still sucks.

No matter how hard I work, how far I run, how many I crunch, how I count the calories, and how much taste I sacrifice, I’m just not seeing the results I want from my weight loss program. I’ve been dedicated (if not obsessed) with the exercise and healthy diet for five months now, and I’m just not seeing the results I had hoped for.

OK, so my clothes are fitting a little better. Some of the sizes on the label are down by as much as 2 sizes; although my old clothes still seem to fit just fine. So, my clothes span three sizes, all fitting pretty much the same. For men, a 34" waist is ... a 34" waist. There's no variation of that number. 34 inches equal 34 inches, not 35, not 36. Men can look for the numbers, and there you have it. We (women) know that sizes are not true among all designers and manufacturers. In fact, some designers are actually making clothes are little big bigger, giving some women a false sense of smallness. So, am I getting smaller? Or are the clothing manufacturers just making the clothes bigger??

Yes, I’ve dropped a few pounds. At the beginning, I was pretty happy to lose a pound every two weeks, even though my husband was losing 10 pounds every two weeks. (Yeah, yeah, I know, the man thing.) Still at the end of five month, I’m not happy with the number. In fact, I haven’t lost anything in the past month. And I don’t want to hear about the “you’re losing fat and gaining muscle” crap. That worked 3 months ago, and I’m tired of hearing the same old story. I don’t care. I want the number on the scale to get smaller!

Yet, I still persist. I’m still up around 5:30am (the Taz now gets the 5:00am slot) to run on the treadmill. I don’t always do the full 2 miles I used to, but I still get in 1.25 miles and over the 200 calories my trainer wants. I try to do that again after work, though I don’t get that sense of accomplishment I did when I first started this program. I do this every day, even though I’m told that 3 times a week is enough. Running on the treadmill, I’m told, burns calories and increases the cardio, which I’m still not 100% certain what that means, but I'm burning calories!! And sometimes I'll run one more time after dinner/before bed.

So, I figure I’m burning between 450-600 calories per day …just on the treadmill. I have no idea what extra calories I’m burning by swinging the 2 lb weights in each hand or doing those crunches or lunges "with weights." I’m sure that’s worth something.

At work, I have been taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Employees enter at the 3rd floor and I work on the 7th floor. Meeting rooms are on the 2nd floor, and I have a meeting there at least once a day. I’m told that stair-walking is REALLY good exercise. It’s hard. It’s tough. But I do it. I think that's worth at least another 200 calories

Tonight I counted my days worth of calories. For my age and height, my allotment of calories is 2,000. By the time I finished dinner, I was barely over 1,000. This is not unusual for me. I don’t eat a ton of snacks; and when I do, they are specially selected protein items or carefully counted calories with the fewest of calories. ARRGGHHH! It’s so frustrating.

It’s frustrating because I love to eat good food … good tasting food. One thing that really annoys me is when fitness people (who are usually vegetarians) try to tell me that granola is so good, or eating “nutrition” bar tastes great, or drinking one of those protein shakes can replace a meal. Don’t believe them for a second. For me, they are excellent weight loss aids, because I would rather eat nothing than any of those boring nasty tasting things, which in itself can help with weight loss … except that I’m now starving. Oh, yeah, I don’t like yogurt either.

The problem with this “life changing” choice is that I have to give up all the really great kinds of foods that I love. Who eats one potato chip, or a half of a Dick’s burger, or just a bite of a Cinnabon, or a half plate of Pollo Valtellina at Marcello’s (boneless chicken sauteed with prosciutto, mushrooms, sliced almonds, drenched in a rich cream sauce of provolone, accompanied with perfectly grilled potatoes and spinach *slurp*slurp*)?? OK, maybe I don’t have to give it up for life. But the more I can’t have it now, the more I want it … now.

So I exercise, and exercise, and exercise more … just so that I can eat, but not what I want. I'm told there's a difference in me. I'm just not seeing it.