R.I.P Mushu

She had a unique personality that no one messed with. She never bit anyone, but she sure let you know that she felt you didn’t belong in our house. She didn’t immediately warm up to you, but eventually, she honored you with her presence and allowed you to pat her on the head … once or twice. Then she moved on to her spot on the floor, where she could watch your every move.

In the winter of 2000, we went to check out this little puppy that my uncle decided he couldn’t care for. We already had two 8-month old puppies, already house-broken, kennel-trained, heel-trained, playful, lovable, and pretty much perfect. Why would we want the work of adding an 8-week old puppy to our family? But we went for the visit and instantly fell in love with the pup. We walked into my uncle’s apartment; and there sitting on the sofa was this little tiny animal that looked like a miniature bear cub, with a black fluffy coat, a patch of white on her chest, and big gigantic black eyes. She looked like a child in an orphanage, trying to sit still, behave, waiting for some parents to adopt her. Taz and I looked at each other and knew that we had no choice but to take her home. We named her “Mushu” (sometimes calling her Mushi).

For the first six months, it was house-breaking Hell. She wouldn’t stop pee’ing in her kennel. So we bought a smaller kennel; then a smaller one. Then one so small that we practically had to shove her in. Taz was giving baths in the middle of the night, in the morning, at lunch break, when he got home from work. She just wouldn’t stop. Doesn’t she know she’s a dog and isn’t supposed to want to pee in the place where she sleeps?? It was so much work. We tried to find another home for her. Then suddenly, at about 6 months … she stopped. Hallelujah. She soon became our favorite. My, how things change.

Mushu was the best watch dog ever, always perched at the top of our stairs, so that she can always look out the front window for any unnecessary visitors, the postman, or anyone walking by the house. When someone came up to the porch, you would think we had a junkyard watch dog in the house. She was small and stocky, but her growl, bark and teeth would often keep people from coming on to our porch.

But Mushi was so sweet, loving and cuddly. She loved the few kids who visited. She didn’t play a lot with the other dogs, because she was just too cool for them. Why would she chase after a dumb ball, when we’re just going to throw it … again. In fact, she really didn’t care where you threw the ball, as long as it wasn’t at her.

At the park, the other three dogs couldn’t get to the lake fast enough. They loved swimming, fetching the water toys, playing and chasing with other dogs. Mushu couldn’t be bothered. Her face had a steady “YOU’RE GETTING ME WET!” look, as she continued wading in water only up to her paws. She didn’t want to get wet, but she wasn’t about to move from a space where she was FIRST.

When she was 5 years, we adopted another puppy. Mushu had been enjoying five years of being the youngest. Now someone else was taking her place … on the bed. Mushu wasn’t real happy about it, but she maintained some patience. It only took about four years before she would actually play with Ming. I think it’s because she did set the rules for Ming, and Ming (bigger than Mushu) was a little intimidated by her … exactly what Mushu had planned. Still, she always gave us a look, that seemed to be saying "how much longer is that yellow dog going to stay?"

As you may have determined, Mushu had total attitude. She “allowed” you to enter the house. She “allowed” you to embrace her. She “allowed” you to love her. She “allowed” you into her life. She was such a mystery. There was always some little scab or patch of hair missing. But she never seemed to be bothered. Her greatest charm … her tail was ALWAYS wagging.

In early 2009, Mushu was diagnosed with cancer. But through care and medicine, her cancel went into remission in late 2009. She’s had other physical issues, but we never knew unless we were probing her body. She was a tough one.

Sadly, this month, she blew out her leg, apparently weakened by the cancer prevention medication. As long as she was on the cancer medicine, her leg was not fixable. And if she wasn’t on cancer medicine, the cancer would return. The vet was also concerned about other parts of Mushu’s body, also weakened or deteriorating due to the medication. She was suffering in pain. On October 5, 2010, the heart-wrenching decision was made to let Mushu go.

She will be so missed.

Don't be weak sauce!

While I was on vacation early this year, I met a young street artist who screen-printed his artwork onto t-shirts. His company had a slogan of “Don’t be weak sauce.” I asked, “What does that mean?” He told me that he originally applied this to his love of extreme sports, but now believes it applies to life in general.

• Push yourself to the limits.
• If you fall on your face, get up and keep going.
• Take a good look and re-design yourself.
• Don’t be weak sauce.

I loved it! I decided that I wanted THAT to be my own personal slogan. “Don’t be weak sauce.” That would be my mission statement for life. Then I bought a t-shirt from him.

I decided that this is my year of NOT being weak sauce. This year, I made a conscious decision to try new things, step outside of my box, dare to be different, do something that’s difficult for me, challenge my fears, and have a lot of fun.

Today, I’d like to share some of my adventures, in hopes that it will encourage you, motivate you, and excite you to do the same.

Now, I ask myself … what have I done to satisfy my desire to NOT be weak sauce? What have I done that’s difficult for me?

The first thing on my list was to get fit and lose a little bit of weight. I’ve always been a small person, and watching what I eat has never EVER been part of my lifestyle … until I turned 40. THEN, it seemed every 5 years, I gained 5 pounds. That was not good, and it’s very difficult to break old habits. However, I begrudgingly decided to try this new concept called “exercise and healthy eating. “ This has been such a life changing experience for me, and I am committed to stick with this way of life for a long long time.

It will definitely be tough, since I LOVE to eat, but the benefits dramatically outweigh the sacrifices. I dropped 3 dress sizes, and my husband lost 60 lbs. Nearly all of our health issues have gone away, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, back pain, leg pain, and, my favorite, my husband stopped snoring. Hallelujah!

Then there’s the “try new things” decision.

This new and improve healthy living has now allowed us to participate in activities that we never thought would be possible. We ran in two fundraising events … Race for the Cure for Breast Cancer and Beat the Bridge for Diabetes. Run for 3-4-5 miles? We couldn’t even consider walking, but now we do. We volunteer a lot in our communities, without the fear of getting too tired and quitting. And if we get tired … well, we just don’t quit. That, in itself, is a feat.

With this new look on life; I decided it was time to put this new energy to work. I have been exploring Seattle by venturing outside of our neighborhood, trying new restaurants, and visiting numerous spas around the Greater Seattle area.

Then there are the activities. The root of this word is “active.” I’ve discovered so many fun things to do but never thought I was “that type of person” to try such things. I was weak sauce. I decided “Jump in, GIRL! It’s now or never. You aren’t getting any younger.”

Some fun and/or adventurous activities that I participated in this year are:

• Trapeze flying
• Rock climbing
• Kayaking through the San Juan Islands
• River rafting down the Tieton River
• Taking a helicopter tour around Seattle.

All of these activities are among my adventures. Some were more difficult than others. All offered a little bit of emotional challenge, but I got through every one of them. I’m actually looking forward to doing some of them AGAIN.

What about “stepping outside of my comfort zone”?

Some of you may already know that this past weekend, I entered into an activity that was definitely difficult, new, and outside of my zone. It also falls under the categories of challenging my fears, daring to be different, and of course, having fun.

On Saturday, in collaboration with a fundraiser for the Special Olympics, I rappelled down the side of one of Seattle’s skyscrapers … the Rainier Tower. That was 43 stories … 512 feet high. I still can't believe I did it, and it was one of the most exhilarating, exciting experiences of my life. Not only did I experience this new personal adventure, but I collected $1,200 for Special Olympics. And look! I’m still alive.

Jenny Bouchet, Director of Player Development for the Seattle Storm, said “What you do should not define who you are. Who you are should determine what you do.”

As you can see, I’ve been very serious about NOT being weak sauce, and I’m having a great time. I can’t figure out why I waited so long, but I’m glad I’m doing it now.

I’ve added a little extra to the young artist’s philosophy:

• Don’t always take the easy route.
• Explore. Challenge yourself.
• Go outside your box.
• Have fun.
• Be flavorful and spicy.
• Taste as many aspects of life as possible.
  

Just, don’t be weak sauce.

What is to become of me, Sir?

I’ve had a very strange couple of weeks now. I just returned from an amazing vacation in Playa del Carmen, but returning was very bittersweet and strange.

Two days before I left for my vacation, my boss announced his resignation. He and our CEO notified his direct reports in a private meeting. We were stunned. At least I was. I had no idea this was in the works. But what made it even more shocking was that it was Thursday afternoon, he’d be packing on Friday, and Monday would be his last day. (Incidentally, I would be on my Mexican vacation and would not be able to participate in the proper farewell events.) WTF?!!! I’m still trying to figure out what happened. I will probably never know the real story.

“What is to become of me, Sir?” (Eliza Doolittle to Professor Higgins)

I’m very sad because (1) I had a great working relationship with this man; (2) I was able to create my role and provide value to the organization based on my experience, knowledge and interests; (3) I felt good about my position, because of the opportunities my boss availed to me; (4) I was successful; (5) I was appreciated and felted valued; (6) I now have no supervisor, which is not really a big deal, except much of my work is out the door; (7) I’m a woman without a country; (8) I am floating with nowhere to land; (9) I’m attempting to provide interim value, aka scrounging for work; and (10) he was the best boss in my career … and now he’s gone.

I’ve been told that I shouldn’t worry about my job; that I should be okay; that a replacement for my boss will take between 2-6 months; that they want to keep Marlene. So, it’s good to hear that I still have a job. But is it true?

What do I do? I’ve always felt like a fish out of water when it comes to working beside my peers. I had a very untraditional Executive Assistant role, where my boss actually changed my title to “Administrative Supervisor,” since I have direct reports. I was treated as an integral part of his leadership team. He was always upfront with me, and there to listen to me, and acknowledged value in my feedback and contributions. My job was definitely not a heads-down position. I suspect that the powers-that-be will start working on making my job “traditional.”

So, I’m now back at work, but not sure what to do. Everyone else has had a week to process his departure. I’m still in emotional transition. So, I’m just waiting to see what happens next. There are some internal and external opportunities that may be available to me. I’d rather stay with this company, but I need a job and am willing to leave.

Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry but I'm still crying ... a little.

I have a dream #2

Last week, I attended an intensive 3-day workshop, which primarily focused on emotional intelligence in the workplace. There was a whole lot of stuff on relationships, trust, behavior styles, yada yada yada. I really did enjoy the content, because it allowed me to see myself in a different light, what type of person I am, what I can be, and where I want to be. I was enlightened.

The workshop marked me as a “dreamer.” They say I have the ability to move others to action through my enthusiasm and playfulness. I enjoy helping others. I possess above average persuasive skills and feel comfortable speaking with almost anyone. I am fun to be around, exhibit flexibility, and can adapt to changing conditions.

The workshop also says that I have strong leanings as a "commander." Those are people with the ability to work rapidly and decisively, thriving on the thrill of the challenge and the internal motivation to succeed. They are both assertive and results-driven. They usually speak rapidly, directly and to the point. They can generalize well, while keep their eye on the big picture.

So, if I look back to my last blog entry “I have a dream,” I’ve pretty much made the decision to make some professional changes, if I am lucky enough to have the opportunity. If I was thinking “should I or shouldn’t I?” … I’ve decided that I should. If an opportunity surfaces (which I believe there will be), I am going to take that leap of faith in myself, and see where it takes me. I won’t go into any details here, since it would be a little embarrassing for a co-worker to read this, thinking that I’m looking for another job, which I’m not. I’m just saying, if my dream opportunity is out there, I will take the risk of exploring it.

So, I’m a fast talking dreamer, a persuader, a mover of people, who can see the whole picture, loves the thrill of a challenge, and make decisions.

I think I like that.

=========================

OK, so I’m going to leave the quote below in (that was in my last entry) because it still applies.

“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” (Goethe)

Dreams and ambitions can sometimes get a bad rap today. It’s easy to discount the former as childish and the latter as greedy. That’s a mistake. In a way, troubled times can make it easier for people to reorient their priorities. If there was ever a time to dream big, it is today. When the rest of the world says hunker down and try to survive, we say that it is time to thrive. So, go ahead and dream. A dream is a powerful motivator.

I have a dream ... and a job.

In today’s economy and state of the times, I am very grateful to have a job. It is reasonably secure. It has interesting moments and can be fairly challenging. I enjoy working for my boss and with other people who surround my role. I have a wonderful team, who I am privileged to supervise. I like the company I work for. And, it provides a paycheck. The company I work for is going through some tough times right now, and I feel fortunate to have the position I’m in.

Still, sometimes I wonder if I should reach out and take a chance to do something else. I often think of myself as a risk-taker, but I certainly wouldn’t want to risk my employment status. There are other opportunities within the company that might be interesting, and I can’t help but think “should I or shouldn’t I?”

Yesterday, I read an article about a woman who “took a leap of faith … in herself,” stepped out of her comfort zone, and applied for a position that she was not used to but might grow her career. Might. She’s now an executive vice president with a large investment firm.

Now, my dreams do not include becoming an executive. But I am thinking … should I be happy, content, secure and grateful for what I have (the bird in the hand)? Or should I risk it for an opportunity to grow, challenge myself, and take on a new career adventure (2 in the bush)? There’s no guarantee that I would be successful, although I think I could be. And I would not be able to get my old job back, if I’m not successful.

But what the heck!! Why not?

=========================

I am an avid fan of the Carrot Culture™, which teaches me, our leaders, and our employees the value of recognition. They inspire me into taking myself (and my team) to new heights of success in work and life. I’d like to share bits and pieces of Carrot advice in my blog, as they apply to me or you.

“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” (Goethe)

Dreams and ambitions can sometimes get a bad rap today. It’s easy to discount the former as childish and the latter as greedy. That’s a mistake. In a way, troubled times can make it easier for people to reorient their priorities. If there was ever a time to dream big, it is today. When the rest of the world says hunker down and try to survive, we say that it is time to thrive. So, go ahead and dream. A dream is a powerful motivator.

Carrot Action: Make a list of your successes. Then make goals for this year that will build on that momentum.

I rode the bus to work today.

I rode the bus to work today, as I often do. But I forgot my earphones to listen to my music, and everyone was driving me crazy.

It was pouring rain and the bus was crowded with very wet people. This guy is wearing a large stuffed backpack, and he won’t move back to make room for more people. But that’s not the real annoying part. He still had his fully stuffed backpack on and was smacking people standing and sitting around him every time he turned. Why doesn’t he take off the pack and put it on the floor before he gives me a concussion? That drives me crazy.

She gets on the bus, like she does every day. She proceeds to dig around in her purse for her bus pass (or fare); she can’t find it; she’s digging, digging, and digging, while people are standing out in the rain, waiting to get on. The people can’t get on the bus because the digger is blocking the door way, digging in her purse, looking for her bus pass. Doesn’t she know that she’s catching the bus, that the bus is coming, and that she is going to have to pay for her ride? Why doesn’t she have her bus pass in her hand when the bus arrives? That drives me crazy.

There's another woman. She’s loud. She’s rude. And OMG ... she’s a yuk-yukker. That just drives me crazy.

And, why do we have to listen to loud people talking on their cell phones? Do you really think we're interested in how drunk you got last night, or what a jerk your boyfriend is, or how your surgery is healing up, or how great your baby is potty training, or ... or ... or ... ??!! And do you think the person you’re talking to has their phone up to his/her ear, but can probably hear you without the phone?! Gees, that drives me crazy!! QUIET!!!

So, with all of that … my day has started out MAH-vah-lous! I hope my carpool driver feels better tomorrow.

I wish somebody would do something ...

I'm just not seeing it. Exercise still sucks.

No matter how hard I work, how far I run, how many I crunch, how I count the calories, and how much taste I sacrifice, I’m just not seeing the results I want from my weight loss program. I’ve been dedicated (if not obsessed) with the exercise and healthy diet for five months now, and I’m just not seeing the results I had hoped for.

OK, so my clothes are fitting a little better. Some of the sizes on the label are down by as much as 2 sizes; although my old clothes still seem to fit just fine. So, my clothes span three sizes, all fitting pretty much the same. For men, a 34" waist is ... a 34" waist. There's no variation of that number. 34 inches equal 34 inches, not 35, not 36. Men can look for the numbers, and there you have it. We (women) know that sizes are not true among all designers and manufacturers. In fact, some designers are actually making clothes are little big bigger, giving some women a false sense of smallness. So, am I getting smaller? Or are the clothing manufacturers just making the clothes bigger??

Yes, I’ve dropped a few pounds. At the beginning, I was pretty happy to lose a pound every two weeks, even though my husband was losing 10 pounds every two weeks. (Yeah, yeah, I know, the man thing.) Still at the end of five month, I’m not happy with the number. In fact, I haven’t lost anything in the past month. And I don’t want to hear about the “you’re losing fat and gaining muscle” crap. That worked 3 months ago, and I’m tired of hearing the same old story. I don’t care. I want the number on the scale to get smaller!

Yet, I still persist. I’m still up around 5:30am (the Taz now gets the 5:00am slot) to run on the treadmill. I don’t always do the full 2 miles I used to, but I still get in 1.25 miles and over the 200 calories my trainer wants. I try to do that again after work, though I don’t get that sense of accomplishment I did when I first started this program. I do this every day, even though I’m told that 3 times a week is enough. Running on the treadmill, I’m told, burns calories and increases the cardio, which I’m still not 100% certain what that means, but I'm burning calories!! And sometimes I'll run one more time after dinner/before bed.

So, I figure I’m burning between 450-600 calories per day …just on the treadmill. I have no idea what extra calories I’m burning by swinging the 2 lb weights in each hand or doing those crunches or lunges "with weights." I’m sure that’s worth something.

At work, I have been taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Employees enter at the 3rd floor and I work on the 7th floor. Meeting rooms are on the 2nd floor, and I have a meeting there at least once a day. I’m told that stair-walking is REALLY good exercise. It’s hard. It’s tough. But I do it. I think that's worth at least another 200 calories

Tonight I counted my days worth of calories. For my age and height, my allotment of calories is 2,000. By the time I finished dinner, I was barely over 1,000. This is not unusual for me. I don’t eat a ton of snacks; and when I do, they are specially selected protein items or carefully counted calories with the fewest of calories. ARRGGHHH! It’s so frustrating.

It’s frustrating because I love to eat good food … good tasting food. One thing that really annoys me is when fitness people (who are usually vegetarians) try to tell me that granola is so good, or eating “nutrition” bar tastes great, or drinking one of those protein shakes can replace a meal. Don’t believe them for a second. For me, they are excellent weight loss aids, because I would rather eat nothing than any of those boring nasty tasting things, which in itself can help with weight loss … except that I’m now starving. Oh, yeah, I don’t like yogurt either.

The problem with this “life changing” choice is that I have to give up all the really great kinds of foods that I love. Who eats one potato chip, or a half of a Dick’s burger, or just a bite of a Cinnabon, or a half plate of Pollo Valtellina at Marcello’s (boneless chicken sauteed with prosciutto, mushrooms, sliced almonds, drenched in a rich cream sauce of provolone, accompanied with perfectly grilled potatoes and spinach *slurp*slurp*)?? OK, maybe I don’t have to give it up for life. But the more I can’t have it now, the more I want it … now.

So I exercise, and exercise, and exercise more … just so that I can eat, but not what I want. I'm told there's a difference in me. I'm just not seeing it.

I’m fine, thanks. And you?

Why do people say “how are you?” and keep walking pass before giving you a chance to answer. I might say “I’m fine,thanks. And you?” Or “Terrible. I have the flu.” Or “None of your effin’ business.”

If you don’t really care how I am, why ask? I’d rather you just not say anything than ask an empty question that proves that you don’t care enough to hear a response. Doesn’t anyone have any manners anymore?

Good manners have become an increasingly archaic school of thought. They just aren’t what they used to be. In fact, people can be downright rude for no reason at all. What good are good manners anyway? What do they have to do with me or you? Is there a benefit?

Here are some reasons that I stole off someone’s website:

• Good manners make people feel comfortable. People who feel relaxed will most likely agree to your requests.
  
• Good manners are impressive. Those who are impressed by you will treat you with more respect.
  
• Good manners make other people feel good. You can help make the world a better, more harmonious place to live.
  

OK, so it may seem a little too much of a good thing to suddenly become Miss Manners, but I don’t think I’m the only who becomes a little (or a lot) annoyed with some behaviors.

• Look people in the eye when you talk to them. (Except at Medusa, of course) Are you with me or somewhere else?? Am I that boring; or is something going on in your life that you would like to share with me because you cannot concentrate of what I’m saying; or is there some naked guy standing over there because I wanna see him too.


• Clean up after yourself. No one wants to pick up your nasty tissues or coffee cups. In case you didn’t think about it, I’m a little grossed out with the thought of getting some of your bodily fluids on my hand. Ewww!


• Don’t interrupt. This one really chaps my hide. Was the funny little dog really more important than hearing about my big promotion?? I’m not saying that I’m 100% innocent of this offense, but it still bothers me. (BTW, for those of you who work with me, I didn't get a promotion. It's just an example. Geez! But you didn't know because you interrupted me because of your little dog.)
  


• Respect your elders. I like this one, because I’m an elder to a lot of people; and I want the royal treatment. Old people like this, and most of them probably deserve it.


• Treat people as you would like to be treated. This is a no-brainer. Isn’t it? Is it? Hello?


• Use good table manners, like chew with your mouth closed; don’t take up the whole side of the table with your elbows spread out; use your fork; use the serving spoons; use your napkin … I think you get the picture.


• Acknowledge people when they speak to you. Uh-hm. I think I mentioned something similar to this already.

OK, so some of those tips may seem to be a little too persnickety, but they can’t hurt … can they? I plan on working on myself to improve my manners.

In the meantime, if you pass me in the hall, on the street, at the gym, and you ask me “How you doin’?”, could you please wait for a response. I just might say “Well, I’m having a tough time giving away an all-expense paid vacation for two to Jamaica. Can you help me out, Pal?”

I have friends ... I think.

I think I’m a pretty nice person. I get along with most people I meet. There are some people who I like more than others; but for the most part, I like most people.

Most people like me too. I’m a friendly person, who tries not to judge people, will help where I can, and tries to fit in (when it doesn’t require too much effort). I share my toys, try to play nice with others, and usually mind my own business. Yeah, people generally like me. That is, until they piss me off. Then I have to be a mean bitch. Then they don’t like me anymore. But that’s usually okay because by the time I have to be a bitch, I don’t like them either. (That’s another blog story, which I look forward to writing sometime in the future.)

"To me, a true friend can go long periods of time without speaking and never question their friendship." (I found that on Facebook, but I would have said it myself anyway.)

Any relationship is already tough enough to sustain, so high expectations usually cause a friendship to eventually dissolve. A true friend never judges me simply because I don’t always have the same interests they do nor do they have any expectations for me to be like them. They know when to tell me the harsh truth, and they know when to button up and listen. They accept me for who I am, no matter what. They look at my weaknesses as endearing and my strengths as amazing. My friends are very special to me, and vice versa.

I don’t surround myself with a large number of friends. I don’t use the word “friend” very lightly, so I don’t have a lot of friends, by virtue of my own definition. There are people who have LOTS of friends, hundreds of friends; every person they meet becomes their friend. It’s not that I don’t have any friends. I just reserve that label for a few special people.

To be fair, maybe I can break friendship up into categories, as they relate to me:

• Family - My largest most precious group of friends. We do not necessarily have everything in common, although as we get older, we seem to be having more fun together. But we are family, and there is a bond that is unexplainable. They are a lot of fun to be around, and people want to be us.


• BFF's - These people are caring, generous, smart, and funny. They always seem to agree with me, even if they don't agree with me. But that's when I'm saying I'm fat, they say I'm not. So, I guess a BFF gets to lie to me sometimes and still be my friend. I have only a few friends in this category, and I am very lucky to have them.
  


• Co-workers - I don't often mix co-workers into my personal life, since I have to spend 5 days/week with them. But there are some people (you know who you are) who I have work in common with, can talk shop in a fun way, and are just plain fun to be around. We have a mutual respect for each other, and I enjoy their company.


• Old College Pals - We meet once a year (or so) for lunch or dinner. There are no expectations or reprimands. We simply enjoy each other"s company, catch up on our lives, and reminisce about the good old days.

• Other Categories - There are peeps who are just plain good friends, who I've known through past jobs, business ventures, casual acquaintances ... which have grown into some pretty good friendships. They stick with me, stay in consistent contact, and always have a friendly word. They are so special to me.
  

Gee, I guess I have more friends than I thought. That makes me a very blessed person.

I'm Chinese, and he's not.

I am Chinese, and my husband is not.

So, I wonder why people, who send event invites to my husband and me, don’t bother trying to find out what my husband’s name is. They just address them to Mr. and Mrs. “MDub.” I think that’s lazy and a little bit rude. And it kind of bugs me.

When I married the Taz, I made a decision to not change my last name. I know that it's pretty common for women to keep their own name, so I didn't feel weird about it. And my new hubs didn't care. I just wanted to stay me. I like being Chinese, and I like my Chinese name. That’s pretty simple, eh?

The thing is that my husband is not Chinese; he doesn’t look Chinese; and he would never be mistaken for Chinese. I'm pretty sure that he's happy who he is too, which is French-Swiss-Canadian, or something like that. To date, everyone I know, who has ever met him, can tell that he is not Chinese. So, I’m fairly confident that no one thinks he’s an MDub. And since it is NOT common for a man to change his last name to his new wife's name, don't you think people should ask? So, why would someone address the invite to Mr. And Mrs. MDub? Why wouldn’t someone take the 60 seconds to make a call to find out what his name is … especially if they want us to attend their event?

Like I said, it kind of bugs me.

I am afraid.

Today, I joined Toastmasters at work, and boy am I scared.

Many of my friends and family peeps would not guess how uneasy and afraid I am in front of large groups, but I am. All through junior and senior high school, I have been horrified and petrified to speak about anything in front of a large group, which is any number larger than 4 people. Plus, anything that I was not 100% passionate or experienced in, add another gallon of fear and apprehension. In college, I took some speech and drama classes, which seemed to cure me of this affliction. But it has apparently worn off.

Over the past few years, friends and co-workers have been encouraging me to join Toastmasters, because they had this illusion that I am a strong and confident speaker in front of a large audience. No one suspected that I'm just a big chicken!! I attended a few meetings, just to see what it’s about and support my co-workers who are giving speeches. Every time I attend, someone assumes that I’m ready to join. Although I never am, I always leave thinking about it. But I do not join. Just the thought of standing up in front of 20, 10, even 6 people, scares the beejeebies out of me.

I started thinking more about Toastmasters a couple of weeks ago, when I decided to start this blog. I read lots of blogs. Some because they are interesting, funny, or engaging. Some because I’m just curious. So, I decided that I wanted a blog, but what can I write about? Then I began to compare the differences between blogging and speaking.

In my blog, I can write anything I want and not be afraid of seeing the puzzled faces of the reader, wondering what the heck I’m trying to say, or “why is she saying that?” The good part is that I don’t have to know if someone thinks I am insane, boring, or absurd. The negative side is that I wouldn’t know if they experienced enjoyment, delight, laughter, engagement from my words.

In public speaking, I can also say anything I want. My fear is to instantly see the puzzled faces of the audience, wondering what the heck I’m trying to say, or “why is she saying that?” I would have that immediate disappointment of knowing someone thinking I’m insane, boring, or absurd. The positive side is that I would know at once if they experienced enjoyment, delight, laughter, and engagement from my words.

With all of that insightful thinking, I decided to take the plunge. Why not? Let’s give it a try. If I can take a pole dancing class, learn aikido, or try rock climbing and trapeze flying, why not something a little less dangerous. Or is it more dangerous? I’m checking things off my bucket list that were never there in the first place, and I’m having fun. I guess I’m not afraid to be a little scared.

Today I joined Toastmasters. Wish me luck!

I'm Not Irish

Can anyone tell that I’m not Irish?? I’m not in grade school anymore, so I don’t have to wear green on March 17. And if you try to pinch me, I’m going to pinch you back, really hard, even if you’re wearing green.

Today was a big stretch for me to wear green at work … a bright green sweater with green sequins. It’s not really in celebration for St. Paddy’s Day, because, as I mentioned, I’m not Irish. I just like that sweater and wanted to wear it. I’m trying to play nice. As much as I love the color green, I usually do NOT wear green on March 17 on purpose because I’m not Irish and don’t have a desire to celebrate the day. I don’t drink green beer. I don’t go to the St. Paddy’s Day parade, which incidentally was four days ago. I don’t make cupcakes with green frosting to bring to work or make shamrock-shaped sugar cookies. (But I'll eat them.)

I’m particularly annoyed when people stare at me, looking for the green. WAH-CHU LOOKIN’ AT?? Yes, I have green on, and I wear it every freakin’ day. It’s called a jade pendant that I received from my mother. My Chinese mother.

Did you know that St. Patrick was actually born in Great Britain, kidnapped by Irish raiders as a teenager, and dragged to Ireland as a slave? And St Patrick probably did NOT drive Ireland’s snakes into the sea, since Ireland emerged from the Ice Age too cold for any snake colonization. And why do we wear green anyway? Resources show that blue was the first color associated with this day, but it changed in the 17th century. Are we supposed to change history like that? And isn’t St. Patrick’s Day about church … not Guiness?

Why doesn’t anyone around here celebrate Chinese New Year? The Lunar New Year? The Year of the Tiger?? That’s a big holiday for the enormously large Asian community in this country and it’s a week long celebration. People of all ethnicities love to look at their lunar horoscopes and take pride in the characteristics of that animal. Then, there’s the “red package”??? Kids love that! And they can buy their own danged cookie.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against any ethnic group. I love everyone. OK, not everyone, but it’s not because of their ethnic background (but that's another blog). Being the melting pot that America is supposed to be, I think there are hundreds of ethnic holidays that could be recognized to honor the people of this world and this country.

And by the way, if you hadn’t noticed … I’m not Irish. And leprechauns are kinda creepy.

Exercising Sucks!!

I've been slacking off on the treadmill, especially since I've learned different exercises (involving weights) from our trainer. Sometimes the treadmill is easier. Sometimes it's hard to keep moving. I guess it depends on my mood. It's all good, but I feel a little guilty not running those 2-3 miles every day. And although the results are good, exercising still sucks.

I seem to be more conscientious about seeing other people at work, in stores and restaurants, on the street, who seem to struggle with their movement and might be healthier if they lost a little bit of weight. So, I'm more motivated to get myself in shape. And although my clothes fit better, I don't see much of a difference when I look in the mirror. Tazman is melting away, and it's very obvious to those who know him. I KNOW. I KNOW. Men lose weight faster than women. And he did have a bit more to lose than me. But putting him and his success aside, I need to find ways to stay sparked to work harder and get myself to where I want to be.

Two weeks ago, I started walking the stairs at work (trekking between 4-5 flights each way times 2-4 times, depending on the day). I just stopped taking the elevator (except when I had to cart large boxes to a meeting or to my car). I was quite proud of myself, and decided that was a great way to get my cardio going if I didn't run the treadmill in the morning. I felt really good about it. This morning, I did nothing. *sigh* That means double-stairs this afternoon. Or if the sun stays out, I might take the dogs out for a walk. That might be fun ... for them.

I miss the joy of eating things that taste good. The thing is ... everything that tastes good to me are very fattening. My favorites are Dick's Deluxe Burgers, Cinnabons, Pollo Valtellina @ Marcello, pizza with lots of pepperoni, really creamy scalloped potatoes, Minnie Beasley almond lace cookies, J-Dawg's pecan tarts, my own peanut butter cookies, english muffins and bagels dripping with butter, bacon, bacon, and a little bacon. Get my point? I think I just gained 10 pounds writing this.

OK, yes, we have been enjoying the Dine Around Seattle restaurants and have a couple of Seattle Restaurant Week reservations. But we're still mindful of the delicious foods on the menu without forgetting about calories. So don't give me any crap for that!! That's only an extra 2-5 miles before I go to bed.

I know that at some point, I'll be able to indulge in those favorites, though in moderation. But it still sucks that I can't them them now. Right now. This very minute! Every time I eat anything other than a salad, I feel the need to run 3 miles on the treadmill. I guess what they say about weigh gain being a mental issue is sorta true.

So, to keep myself from picking up Sandy's special cake from the cafeteria, or scouring the building looking for Girl Scout cookies (I know they're around here!), I'm blogging during lunch. The salad was pretty good and big. And I did walk down and back up the stairs. Yippee for me. *blech*

Maybe with the good weather on the horizon, running around Greenlake won't seem so laborious. (I can stop by Spud's for some fish and chips on my round.)

Groovin' on a Sunday Morning

OK, so our Sunday mornings normally start with our usual visit to the Gym. Not this week. The end of this week (or beginning, depending on how you look at it) began differently … at least for us.

Our Sunday actually started on Saturday night at the Off-Jackson Theatre (formerly the Wing Luke Museum) for the Monologue Slam comedy improv show. It was a vewy vewy stwange, but hilarious experience. Starting pretty late (10:00pm), there normally would be no way that I would even consider leaving my house and starting my evening that late, but since the show was hosted by Kevin Kent … we decided to check it out. The show started late, and Kevin Kent didn’t show until after 11:00pm (probably because of his gig at Teatro Zinzanni). But the other host was oddly hilarious, and we were definitely entertained by her and the pre-show stand-ups.

Once Kent arrived and the improv competition started, it was laughter the rest of the night. Most of the improv competitors were so creative and funny!! ending around 12:30am. We had a great time and plan to attend another one. Tazman is actually thinking of competing. You should go, if you can stay awake that late. Might be worth it for you to take a nap, set your alarm to 10pm, and show up with your support.

We also had the insane idea that if we were still awake after the show, we would go to the gym for a workout (and sleep in on Sunday morning). IT’S ALREADY SUNDAY MORNING!!!! Well, we had our clothes in the car, we were wide awake, and it was sorta on the way home. OHHHH-KAAAYY!! So, there we are at the gym, running, lifting, pumping, pressing … until 2:00am. It was kinda cool to have the gym to ourselves and no waiting for any of the equipment or machines. But I’m not sure I’m interested in making this a habit. As secure as it is, it’s also kinda creepy to be there alone. So, with Dayight Savings Time, we got home at 3:05am … in time to settle down, take a shower and get to bed by 4:00am.

Groovin’ …. Groovin on a Sunday Morning!!

NOW … for my restaurant review: My new favorite eatery!! I love Barolo Ristorante on Westlake Ave!! The food was amazing. Again, I ordered off the regular menu, while Robert stuck with DAS and something with Wild Boar in it. I started with Cuore di Romana Grigliata (grilled romaine heart with fresh made Caesar dressing, shaved reggiano). Grilled Caesar Salad?!!! Yowza. It was soooo good. I couldn’t eat it fast enough. Next, I loved loved loved the Gnocconi di Spinaci (house-made spinach gnocchi with Alaska smoked salmon). OMG … it just melted in my mouth and so creamy. I want more!! But wait … the blood orange sorbet was so icy delicious and I coulda kept ‘em coming. I’ll take 3 more, please!! (Well, that’s what I wanted to say.) We both walked out totally satisfied, with just enough food in our bellies, and very happy. (Oh, so THAT’s what walking out happy is like, instead of waddling out with a stomach ache … a good stomach ache … yet still often painful!) We arrived at 6:20pm on Wednesday, and the place was totally packed with a 45-60 minute wait. Luckily, we had reservations for 6:30pm and our table was waiting for us. Yeah, that’s right!! We got a table, and you don’t!! One of the best meals we’ve ever experienced.

FareStart

This month, we've been exploring Seattle through food, and last night was another adventure. Although we are no stranger to food, we seem to be eating better and a little healthier by fine dining. And it's a lot more fun than suffering through some low cal delight at home, or living it up at Dick’s with one of those naughty Deluxe burgers and seriously devilish french fries. *slurp*

I absolutely love and support the FareStart Restaurant. Last night’s Guest Chef Night was menued by Canlis Chef Jason Franey. I figured that the only way I can eat Canlis food is at FareStart … or when Canlis participates in Seattle Restaurant Week next month. (Yes, I've already made my reservation!)

We met up with my sister and bro-in-law there, who lives in Seattle but who we hardly ever see except through food and entertainment. So, it was a really nice evening of “how have you been” and “what have you been doing?” Turns out, through Groupon and LivingSocial, we are doing the same things but at different times. It was a lot of fun.

Anyway, back to the food … I loved the fresh Canlis salad, the Beef Tenderloin with carrots, cumin and potato purée, and the Vanilla Bean Crème Brûlée with market fruit. Well, I didn’t eat the dessert, but it looked really good, and everyone else seemed to enjoy it. The wait staff, as usual, was almost all volunteer. Everyone was very pleasant and friendly, and 100% of the bill and tips goes back to the FareStart organization.

I’ve been supporting the FareStart organization for a while now, through volunteering in their kitchens to supporting and eating at their restaurant. Guest Chef Night is always so special, and this meal was no exception. You should eat there. But make reservations. This night was sold out 2 months in advance.

(Side note on Guest Chef Night: For FareStart students, it is a unique opportunity to work with Seattle's premier chefs. For FareStart supporters, it's a great opportunity to enjoy an excellent meal. 3-course meal for $25. Check out the FareStart website.)

Out of Office

I’m currently in a somewhat uneventful business meeting, so it kinda makes sense that I name this category "Out of Office." (OMG, I have a CATEGORY! I must be a real blogger now.) Anyhooooo, my mind is drifting to “what can I write next in my new blog?” Since I had decided that the focus of my blog was to just be me, unplugged and unfocused, I will continue to share my random thoughts. So, here we go again:

• Caffeine is a psychoactive stimulant drug, often found in coffee, tea and soft drinks, which, in humans, has the effect of temporarily warding off drowsiness and restoring alertness, except in business meetings.

• Why is it that, when ordering food for a meeting or event, and I painstakingly insure that there is a good selection for the vegetarians, the meat eaters eat all the vegetarian food??

• Jillian and Bob were right. Chewing a stick of Extra gum not only helps fight cavities by strengthening teeth, its long-lasting flavor is keeping me from eating all day!! And it’s only 5 calories. And it helps keep me awake.

• If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead to anywhere. (This isn’t an original random thought of mine, but it seems semi-profound. I copied it off the wall of another meeting next door. I bet they didn't make it up either.)

I love my Google calendar!!! My husband and I can share our calendars, and I just think it’s the coolest thing. I never seem to know what’s going on, once I leave the office. But now, we can plan all sorts of activities just by checking “the calendar” and we are having lots of fun … away from our TV. And I can check “the calendar” from my iPhone. Woo-hoo! Technology!! I love it! I also gave my daughter visibility of the calendar. She commented, “Sure. OK. Why would I need to see your calendar?” My answer is “so that when you call me or can’t find me, you don’t have to ask ‘where have you been?’ or ‘what are you doing?’ or ‘are you at home?’ (Remember looking all over town for our Mom, CB?) I think initially it seemed a little silly and unnecessary, but she’s finding a little value in it now. Now she says “are you going to a play or something tonight? I noticed Mamma Melina on your calendar.” Cool, huh??

Speaking of Mamma Melina Ristorante, we had dinner there earlier this week, and let me tell you what I think. It's a family-owned Italian restaurant located in the Roosevelt-University area. YUM! YUM! YUMMY!! Not only is it a fabulously quaint, unassuming restaurant, but the food is heavenly, delicious, scrumptious, abundant, and did I say yummy?? We thought we knew what we wanted to order because we saw the DAS (Dine Around Seattle) menu. But after we saw the full menu, we wanted everything. We ended up ordering off the DAS menu. I figured the Pollo al Marsala was a can’t-miss dish, and I was right (as usual). The chicken was so tender that I cut it with a fork, and the sauce was …*sigh* plate-licking yummers. The regular menu prices are very reasonable, and we ended up spending less than we planned. The atmosphere is a very friendly and welcoming. We made our reservations for 5:30pm on Sunday, and within 30 minutes, the restaurant was completely full. So I recommend that you make reservations. Also, they’re moving to the University Village in May. So, try to make it to this location for that Old World feeling.

Randomly yours,
MDub

Here I am.

I've read lots of blogs by people I know, and some I don't. I thought … how interesting that these people would want to share their thoughts about .... whatever they are thinking or doing. And frankly, I think their blogs are interesting, funny, engaging, educational, and worth reading. I admire their abilities to write, express who they are, and to publish it. I really enjoy reading these blogs and look forward to each new entry.

So, I want to have a blog. But what can I write about? I don’t have any single focus of interest. I’m not a traveler, a culinary guru, a technology geek. I’m just someone with a mish-mash of things that I like doing, would like doing, and might do. I have a wide range of people (family and friends) in my life, who I love, who I like, and some who I don’t like so much, but nothing specific. How interesting could that be?

Last summer, I volunteered as an advisor at a teen camp for Washington Business Week. I was really nervous, being surrounded by people I didn’t know, spending a week with a campus full of teenagers, doing something I’ve never done before. Each night of that week, I spent a few minutes writing about my experiences of the day … on FaceBook. I knew my friends and fellow volunteers (from other campuses) might be interested in how I was doing and would enjoy these entries. I was right. They read them, sometimes offering words of encouragement. But most of all, it was pretty good therapy for me, writing down my experiences of Heaven and Hell. Wow! I sure had fun.

Then I thought … hmmm. That’s kind of a blog, isn’t it? So, here I am, making a formal attempt at a blog. I have no idea what will become of this, or if it’s my first and last entry. But I’m into trying new things out lately; so, why not a blog?

OK, so this first one may not be interesting or funny or educational; but it’s me. This year, I am making time to better myself, do good things, and have fun.

• Been trying to get healthier and lose weight by exercising every day (yuk) and eating properly. Joined a freaking gym and have a personal trainer. Workout was brutal this weekend, and I can hardly walk today!! But it’s working and I’m losing weight … but it’s not a lot of fun. Will this ever end? Only 20 more lbs before I get another Dick's Deluxe or Cinnabon. OK, make it 10 lbs.
• Doing a lot of volunteering here and there, and feeling really good about it.
• Addicted to Groupon.com and LivingSocial.com, enjoying fun new things to do around Seattle.
• Took a pole dancing class, with some co-worker friends. It was hilarious and a blast, discovering our inner sex-kitten. Thinking of planning a private party at the studio, so stay tuned on that one. Sorry guys – ladies only.
• Currently in an Aikido class. And after only 2 classes, I can escape from my husband’s grasp, twist his arm around his back, kick him in the butt, and run away screaming. Hey! These classes work. OK, I didn't kick him in the butt, but I coulda!!
• Have plans for classes in rock climbing, trapeze flying and wine tasting. It's scary but yes, I might try wine tasting.
• Going on a helicopter tour of Seattle with my bro-in-law. Shhhh! He doesn't know it yet. It's a birthday present for both of us in July.
• Enjoying stage productions in little hole-in-the-wall theaters around the city. Stwange. Vewy vewy stwange.
  

What are you doing? Oh, wait. This is about me!